Should there even be a comment after this?

Enjoy your studies this year my friends.

RJ

Below, you will find one of the best poems ever written, by a man called John Agard. Below that, you will find my homage to him, something I thought I had lost and something I did for my students to show them something of how a local understanding could be adopted.

Enjoy!

STEREOTYPE

I’m a full blooded
West Indian stereotype
See me straw hat?
Watch it good

I’m a full blooded
West Indian stereotype
You ask
If I got riddum
In me blood
You going ask!
Man just beat de drum
And don’t forget
To pour de rum

I’m a full blooded
West Indian stereotype
You say
I suppose you can show
Us the limbo, can’t you?
How you know!
How you know!
You sure
You don’t want me
sing you a calypso too
How about that

I’m a full blooded
West Indian stereotype
You call me
happy go lucky
yes that’s me
dressing fancy
And chasing woman
if you think ah lie
bring yuh sister

I‘m a full blooded
West Indian stereotype
You wonder
where do you people
get such riddum
Could it be the sunshine
My goodness
Just listen to that steel band

Isn’t there one thing
you forgot to ask
go on man ask ask
This native will answer anything
How about cricket?

I suppose you’re good at it?
Hear this man
good at it!
Put de willow
in me hand
and watch me stripe
de boundary

Yes I’m a full blooded
West Indian stereotype
that’s why I
graduated from Oxford
University
with a degree
in anthropology

John Agard

And now, for my little homage…

STEREOTYPE – THE YORKSHIRE VERSION

I’m a full blooded
South Yorkshire stereotype
See me flat cap?
Cop a good look

I’m a full blooded
South Yorkshire stereotype
You ask
If I always talk like this
An’ ah say
Don’t ask!
It’s in me blood
You’re gonna ask
Aren’t yer?

I’m a full blooded
South Yorkshire stereotype
You say
I suppose you can show
Us where the pits were
But I say it’s a crime
What they did to us

You sure
You don’t want me
ter sing yers a hymn too
It’d gu dahn a treat
How abart that?

I’m a full blooded
South Yorkshire stereotype
Hear this man
happy go lucky
yeah that’s me
drinking hard
And getting drunk
is that what yer think?
Well don’t!

I‘m a full blooded
South Yorkshire stereotype
You wonder
why I have a good rant
and a rave
Could it be the way
Yer gerrup me nose?
Just listen to what you are saying
Listen to yer mind!

You forgot to ask
me one little thing
Go on ask ask
This feller will
answer anything
I’ve an answer for owt!

Let me tell you
Little man
Just how wrong you are
Listen

I am a full blooded
South Yorkshire stereotype
that’s why I
graduated from a Sheffield
University
with an honours degree
in English Literature

Feel free to share if it helps anyone out with their English classes.

RJ

How many small words can you think of that can be used like this?

What?

That is the word I am hearing from you? What are they? I am sure you will have come across them before now. To understand them is simple: take off the first three letters and you are left with positions.

 A preposition then, tells us where something is, or someone.

Here are some examples…

The question is, how complex can you make your sentences sound with these prepositions inside?

Have a go at using each of these, but do not be content with simple sentences. Make them long, maybe using two or more of these together in one sentence.

Go on, have a go. This is how easy and fun English can be. Get creating!

Are you the sort of student who has a problem with the use of those dreaded things called ‘apostrophes?’ Some call them ‘flying commas,’ which is a bit foolish. Other possibly have an assortment of names for them. They are the sort of thing that can terrify the unsure student of the English language, but fear not, for they are easy to understand.

Consider the following examples and ideas. Hopefully, what follows will make sense, but whether it will be easy to grasp will ultimately be up to you.

Are apostrophes really needed in a changing English language? 

I believe that you can ditch them for good. Instead of writing “I can’t do it” and inadvertently writing the non-word of “ca’nt” or any other derivative, simply write “I cannot do it” and write it out in full.

Here is a task for you to do right now. Go to your computer and copy a file you have created that has a story in there. With the copied file, go through it and delete all the shortened words like “can’t” and “wouldn’t,” adding in the missing letters and words to make it make sense. You will, once done, have something perfectly Standard English, whereas your first effort will be a mix of Standard English [StdE] and Non Standard English [NonStdE]. It can be done. It makes your work easier to read as well and scores higher points at GCSE exams. 

How do we know which one to use when we add an apostrophe? 

Usually, there are two hard and fast rules. One is omission and the other is possession. The first one is where you omit [leave out] a letter, like “shouldn’t.” The latter is when something is owned, like “Stephen’s book.” It is all so easy to grasp when you think about it, but the problem is it can get a little odd at times, especially with possessive apostrophes when someone has a name ending with S. For example, “James” can be an issue. “It is James’s book” is a terrible use of English and will result in your marker in an exam having heart failure and giving you low marks. Using “James’ book” instead will make him [or her] grin like a Cheshire Cat and give you the A* grade. Some will look at this and say it is wrong, but they are the ones who are wrong. If you ever see someone write a word that ends in “s’s” then run for the hills, for they are a bad influence on your learning.

An example to consider-Pluralism

A television programme recently ran this as an episode title and as soon as I saw it, I knew to use it here. You may recognise the programme if you are a fan of the show. But, take note of the picture and the words on there. The title is surrounded by apostrophes, or to use their better title, quotation marks or speech marks. They are not the ones found above the number 2 on a keyboard [if in the UK] and so it appears as if there are three apostrophes in the title.

How wrong could we be?

In effect, what is happening here is the use of the plural word being apostrophised. Stranger refers to one person. Strangers is talking about two or more people. If a single stranger has a home, it would be The Stranger’s Home. But because the S on the end, before the apostrophe is used, it refers to a pair or group of strangers. When this happens, we have to use the apostrophe at the end [or rewrite the title as The Home Of Strangers].

Which one sounds better, I wonder?

In the end, if you write clearly, using apostrophes well, then you will score highly. If not, then do not expect a C grade if you make a lot of errors in this usage. If you do, then I urge you now, to Dump The Apostrophe and rethink your sentences when not sure, so that your writing becomes freer and more accurate.

Happy writing.

Sometimes, when you need to think about something, or remember something important, we use something called mnemonics, like acronyms, to aid our memory. In college, we have used APPIL before now, meaning Audience, Purpose, Presentation, Information and Language. At other times, we have used PEED chains, for Point, Evidence, Explanation and Development.

Today I saw this one, based on another theme entirely, but it made me think, how about making up your own memory aids for this subject? If so, what would they be? Here is the one I saw earlier on Facebook.

At the end of the day, these things help us to remember but they also help us to plan as well. Imagine you have to write something creative, say an account of when you had to make an important decision which is a title from a previous written exam. How would you plan it?

You could use one of these aids here, so I challenge you now to come up with one that can be used as a universal acronym/aid/mnemonic.  When you have it, please add it to the FB site for this page so we can discuss it openly and fairly.

Go on. Have a go at being creative right now as you prepare for the coming GCSE year.

RJ

Regardless of whatever task you are expected to do in section B of any of the English exams, they usually involve writing something that has some detail and/or some semblance of creativity, that may, or may not, involve certain rules for writing. If you follow the rules to the letter, then assuming you create something good, you will score heavily in this section, making it possible to mess up a section A question a little and still walk away with a C grade over all.

But what are those rules? I could give you all the answers here, but I choose not to. Instead, you have three photos beneath this that are from the Dan Brown book, Inferno. I have screenshot them for you for you to read them and select as many rules as you possibly can. I will give you a clue as to rule number 1. It has been mentioned by me on this site on more than one occasion and has to do with paragraphing, so I want you to make a list like this:

#RULE 1       Indented paragraphing is needed [state how and where]

#RULE 2      [you continue here with your list]

Here are the three screenshots. You should be able to get at least 6 rules selected. NB to teachers, this could make a good classroom activity.

See how many rules you can come up with. If you can manage ten of them, you are doing well.

RJ

In recent weeks there have been some very disturbing messages seen on here so I have taken the option of closing down the message board to admin, or the comment section at the bottom. Thousands of spam messages have been hitting my inbox in the last 9 months and the last one, or should I say, the last four, all from the same person, were abusive. I think Facebook calls such a person a “Troll” but I call them an absolute idiot who deserves to fail his examination in the coming days.

Now, there is not an option any more to ask me for help. If you can use the posts on here, please feel free but I will not allow such abuse any longer. Of course, there is the Facebook facility and I welcome ideas and questions. At least if said moron decides to try his luck there, all he will do is show what kind of tool he really is and then get blocked. Abusers and Trolls beware. Your grades will catch you out.

And for the rest, the hard working students out there, God bless you and go an do your best in this coming exam. If you have worked hard, you deserve to pass with a C or higher. Well done to all who get what they deserve in August when the results come out.

R

A friend of mine on Facebook lives in Makati, near Manila in the Philippines. He is a film actor, photographer and blogger in his own right. He was with another photographer recently on their way to the 37th Flores De Mayo fashion show at MOA when he saw this Street Man, and asked his friend to call him over. He gave him some money and asked if he could take a snap of him. The man agreed and is “posing” but in the couple of seconds he got, he was able to snap three shots and says that “you can see a lot of his life’s story in his eyes.”

Here is one of the photos he took.

Courtesy and permission given by Don Gordon Bell ©

He is a street man of the Philippines. His story is etched in his eyes. Sometimes, your tutor may give you some form of writing to do, as classroom practice, in order to get those writing skills honed for the second part of the two exams you will have to sit at GCSE. Depending on which course you are on and who runs it, the task will differ, but let’s just say, for a moment, that it goes something like this: Using this image, create a piece of original writing that tells us something about life and how hard it can be.

Now, how would you go about writing an answer to that one?

The first thing to do is mentally, in your imagination and sight, split the picture up into 4 equal sections [top left = 1, top right = 2, bottom left = 3 and bottom right = 4]. Then, when that is done, begin making notes on each section, in detail. With four headings, one for each section, you then begin to have some ideas.

Not sure what I mean? This is what I see.

Now, with these things in mind, I can begin creating something that is unique, creative and original bringing in all of these ideas about the man, the way he looks, the way he acts [made up – why does Rutger Hauer as a blind wanderer with a stick come to mind?] the way he has a reaction with the people he meets. All of these are possible, but what do I choose to do?

Note: The truly unique ones get the best marks!

There are several choices. You could create something that is from his point of view. “I am a street man of Makati” etc, using all of the above and some more ideas as they come, writing it in paragraphs accurately brought together by discourse markers so that it makes perfect sense. Or you could write it like you are a reporter [almost] like you are reporting on street life in Makati being harsh and unpredictable and how one has to be tough to survive. Or, you could even write something that is almost poetic, or descriptive, or something else I have not even considered. So long as it does what the task says, you will get the points.

This, I am afraid, is where the 3 grade or higher will be achieved [A* – B in old money].

Go on, have a go at this for your own practice. If you come up with a good one, let me know via the Facebook page.

RJ

I received the following question today… I will try to answer it here.

I have a question.. I like to leave missed lines when I start a new paragraph, but in some exams my lecturer says I should write one block of writing, which in my opinion is too much for the eyes. Is she trying to set me up to fail?

And also where I study, I’m not going to say where, the institution has changed the examining board to City and Guilds and the way that exams are marked is extremely confusing. Instead of the normal Band 1, 2, 3 etc. It is now split so for a exam I will receive a ( i & ii Band (3) 6 marks) & (iii Band (2) 3 Marks). (These two marks is for one exam). I cannot figure out this Mark in total, my tutor says that your suppose divide it by 2. (Confusing). Can figure it out?

The question itself is many sided so I am going to give a holistic answer in as much detail as I can.

1. Missed Lines – Each course I have ever taught in 20 years of teaching have all had the same rules regarding this. The teacher though, as well as the marker, chooses to ignore it, but there are some that do not. Your best option is to do them correctly, not missing lines, just in case you get a marker that maybe knocks a mark off before they even read your answer. Take my word for it, the first thing I look for is the style of paragraphing. If it is done correctly, then I am thinking this should be C or above. Then when I read a really good answer, the C goes to a B and then an A and so on, in my head. Likewise, if I see dodgy paragraphing, I am immediately thinking “oh dear” and expecting a D grade answer or lower. Then if I read and it is a bad answer, the thought of the C vanishes down through E, F, G etc. So do it right!
2. Length of paragraphs – On a sheet of A4 lined paper, you should see at least two paragraphs, but the better answers [A* – C] tend to have three, or at least have started the third before turning the page. That length of paragraph [10-15 lines] is just the right amount to read, take in, digest, understand and appreciate, before moving on to the next idea/paragraph. Also, as long as the paragraphs have some form of continuity, they should be fine. When one ends and we cannot see a link to the next, we think “oh no” once again and begin thinking accordingly. If you want the C or above, then it is 2-3 per page, or a maximum of 6 for 2 sides of A4. Mess them up and there goes your C grade through the door. No teacher worth their certificate will set you up for a fail so do not worry. If they do, then report them to the Department for Education in your country!
3. Banding/Marking – This is where it does get confusing, for the teacher and the student, dependent on which of the widespread countries you live in. I see the data for this website two or three times a week and every country in the world has a student who has used this site. It is a truly humbling thing for me to see, for I know I am helping all of you in some of the most far flung places of this globe. But when it comes to marking and marks, there are so many different courses [AQA, WJEC, EDEXCEL to name but three. Each might want you to write using properly “assigned paragraphs,” or in their right place, but when it comes to points for certain things, each does it differently so because I do not know the one you are on as you read this, it is impossible for me to pass judgement on it.

   The student added these words: “Instead of the normal Band 1, 2, 3 etc. It is now split so for a exam I will receive a ( i & ii Band (3) 6 marks) & (iii Band (2) 3 Marks). (These two marks is for one exam). I cannot figure out this Mark in total, my tutor says that your suppose divide it by 2.” 

   The numbers 1, 2, 3, 4 etc are the mark or grade you should receive at the end of the course. An A* grade of old will now be a “1” grade when the final thing comes to you in the form of a certificate. Thus, a “3” grade will be the equivalent of a C grade of old.

   In the exam, there will be questions that are added together. One might be a written answer based on how well you have read the text whilst the other will be a more creative piece of writing based on the text read. If both are out of 10 marks for example and you get a 4/10 for one and a 8/10 for the other, then you would add both together [12/20] and then half it, causing an overall grade of a 6/10 for that exam question. It might, for some exam boards, be one mark for section A [reading] and another for section B [writing] and do the same Maths with the scores.

   Then when you add them all up together [2 exams is usual now] the exam board meet in their corporate offices and they decide what overall number of points will be a 1, a 2, a 3 and so on.

   If you are not confused by that, then I do not know who will be, but rest assured, the teacher will have the biggest headache of all, having to understand and teach this new way of preparing, teaching, marking and getting students ready to undertake both exams.

   I hope this helps…. but if not, go to the Facebook page where we can discuss it further.

   RJ